So after reading some of my new found favorite Mom Blog sites (like Mommy vents) I realized some how fear of being judged has deterred me from what I was doing here on blogger. I didn’t start this blog to avoid the issues I face as a mommy of my 3 yr old energizer bunny and my screaming colicky 2 month old by writing witty off topic entries. I started this blog to say… hey you know what, this isn’t all its cracked up to be, these children, this life, melts my heart and makes me want to pull out my hair– all at the same time…and sometimes I want to say “Ok, what’s the return policy?? This is not the package I signed up for, there’s clearly a mistake!”.
So I guess what I’m really wanting to say – is that sometimes- even though my smile face is on- all I really want to say is: F&*!@ IT!
Today I am up at 5am, to beat the morning rush that hits the “Complicated Simplicty” household at 6am every morning. It truly pains me to do this, who wants to be up before the sun?!? But since my children clearly dictate when my day starts and ends, I had to say -F&*!@ IT! -I’ll get up at the @ss crack of dawn just to get that one cup of coffee that I can enjoy in total silence.
The truth to my week, is I’m dealing with Post Partum and my daughter, the lil apple of my eye… is COLIC.
When I saw a mother at my sons preschool feeding her twins with this HEAVEN SENT item and it seriously nearly brought me to tears on so many levels… tears of joy that someone made this product and clearly knew the frustration of holding a baby ALL DAY LONG, and tears of sadness because I did not have one and my arms were numb!!!
So I’ve contacted the GODS at Bebe Bottle Sling to sing praises and say “thank you thank you thank you for giving me my arms back for a few minutes a day” and they’ve agreed to give one away on the blog! Which I AM very excited about (details to follow). Anyway, I’ve been trying to live in a state of denial about both dealing with PPD a second time AND this whole colic thing, as I dont want to be the mother everyone feels bad for… but F&*!@ IT!
(and why does my husband continue to stand over me and talk as I type… my early bird quiet time includes him!)
To be fair though, we can’t put all the blame on The Princess. His Royal Highness does his share to contribute to the “keeping mommy crazy foundation”. In fact, he’s the CEO most days, he is after all the one who decided my day would start by him SCREAMING at the top of his lungs for someone to come in and get him out of bed at 6am EVERY MORNING, therefore waking up Princess Criesalot, and therefore beginning my vicious cycle. And believe me bed time plays no factor, we’ve tried it all, so please do not suggest putting him to bed later as my mother does every time I mention it…. and seriously, is it necessary to SCREAM to be taken out of a bed? he can clearly get out of himself? Is that SO much to ask for?
Yesterday my children and I spent the entire day in our PJs and not cause it was a relaxing day… but because Princess needs to be held 24/7, so I said F&*!@ IT! We’re all staying in and we’re all being dirtbags.
Then my “BFF” Christina called and I was so happy to have adult conversation to deter me from my insanity. Princess was of course in arm and His Royal Highness was following me through out the house asking for pretty much anything that came to mind- over and over and over…. “Can I have fruit snacks? I want cheese-its, Gimme more juice please, …I saiiiiid more juice!!!”… and I looked in the fridge… GREEAAAT no juice. Now I’m usually a big advocate of no soda… even his juice is really flavored water, but I thought you know what? F&*!@ IT! Diet Pepsi it is! (go ahead burn me at the stake)
Tonight I made plans to visit my friend, which means Hubby will have the children all night by himself- which should make me do a happy dance, but for some reason this makes my twisted mind feel overwhelmed with guilt?
Like I deserve to be torchured by these children all day every day… but The Husby? nooo I can’t let him battle it alone… and then I complain about how Im 28 and have no social life…. so this morning I decided F&*!@ IT! Im going … and we’re eating pizza even though its not on the diet… and I DONT CARE.
Anyway- I could honestly sit here and rant all day… but in addition to re-wetting my now half dried hair to be blow dried, the kids are now up and I need to feed them, and dress them, and… o you know what? F&*!@ IT! Im pulling it back.
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