Dear Cablevision:
I was disappointed today when flipping through the channels and found that we no longer recieve HGTV or (the more loved) Food network (
While I understand & respect this negotiation period, that I do trust WILL be worked out soon– right?? (nodding) I wanted to take a moment to let you know if ever (for even a day) Bravo is ever removed from our cable plan, I am here today to tell you– I am out… (so you may want to look into the contract details now, as Im sure you would be heart broken should I have to break up with you)…
There are many reasons, I would have to make such a stern decision- but I must say this is by far the first on my list…
You see, while its true that I’ve always enjoyed The “Real house wives” series, there was just something about the NJ cast that instantly found a special place in my heart . Until last year, I never knew how much I enjoyed the sport of table flipping & purchasing dining room tables in $3,ooo cash but, ..well- now that I got a taste of it- I just simply cannot picture life without it.
Reason number 2- Kathy Griffin. Cause every once in a while, when I’m feeling a lil run down, I need my trash talking celebrities fix… and nothing does the job better than a marathon of “My life on the D-List”. Call it schadenfreude if you will, but making fun of Paris’ baby voice and Seacrest’s Closeted sexuality makes me smile.
(oo! can we get Kathy to flip some tables at dinner with Paris & Seacrest?? That would be heavenly)
Another reason, I am out if your company and Bravo ever part ways is- Jeff Lewis (Flipping Out)… because unlike Seacrest, he is not closeted, ( I heart my Gays)… and as an added bonus… The man is absolutely INSANE! Take him away from me and my television, and I may never know important things like if 4:49 and 30 seconds is officially evening, or if its 5:00 exactly. Oh and Zoila’s apparent obliviousness to Mr.Jeff’s insanity and Jenni’s incompetent husband being fired for the 10th time?… you cant replace quality TV like that!
Also- The Million Dollar Match Maker… cause I enjoy watching Patti kick the asses of guys with lots of money desperately seeking love and a piece of @ss on the first date.
And last but not least– The Rachel Zoe Project! I am OBSESSED with this show about a woman who is dramatically stressed out and ‘obsessed’ (as she herself has states 5 times an episode) with SO many fun fashion find. And though I’m not sure why Taylor is on the show, I am sure that if Brad were to leave the show- the it may not be on the line up… but, as it is– He remains on the cast, and The Rachel Zoe Project remains one of the many reasons I love Bravo.
So, you see Cablevision, it really wouldn’t be anything personal… (not like if I were to say that I missed an entire season of Dexter due to your unreasonably high rates, which I totally didn’t say- but is definitely true).. Bravo, is just my deal breaker.
O yea, and if Oxygen were removed and I couldn’t watch those psycho Biotches on Snapped and freak out my husband nervously thinking- “is she taking tips from this show?” .. I may also have to reconsider our cable provider-customer relationship.
But for right now– its just HGTV and Food Network. So I will let you battle that one out for a little longer, before I decide if I can live without Rockstars like Duff and my Buddies at Charm City Bakery (which, I have to warn you- may not be that long…. so maybe you should bend just a lil’).
Best,
You’re most complicated customer in NJ
Complicated Mama
