Sometimes I wish I had a camera following me to capture my life’s complexities first hand.
Seriously.
You know that saying “Only {{insert complicated person’s name}}” ? … Yea… Me. And I always feel no matter how hard I try to tell it- the words do no justice to the actual experience.
Yesterday was one of those days.
The Complicated Kids were invited to partake in an Eco-friendly segment to air on WABC this Thursday. It was being filmed in NYC at Madison Square Park. We were psyched- my little starlets.
I brought along Complicated Mama’s Mama (Aka “The Meems”) to both share the moment… and keep me sane. First obstacle, as it always is- was actually getting to the place. When I am with my kids driving in the city- without fail- I get lost, run late… run late and get lost. At this point its a given. We recently got a Tom Tom for our car, so even though I am not 100% in love with it- I was confident it would get us there fairly easy-ish.
WRONG.
That navigation took us all over the place. Thankfully I had an idea of where I was going and decided not to listen to the wrong turns- (and thanks to Mr.Complicated) narrated by Homer Simpson… The. Entire. Way. “Doh! Toll charge!”… “Take the highway… woo hoo!” … imagine that scene for a minute if you will… right.
We get to the shoot- early. Way-way- early. So we hung out in the play ground for a little bit. Sounded like fun in theroy… til we actually walked in the gate and suddenly I got a flash back of the playground/ dodge ball scene in Billy Madison… only surrounded by high end strollers and Nanny’s sitting on park benches trying their hardest to look busy. Well, give this suburban Mama heart failure why don’t you? After about 20 minutes we were done.
We headed to meet up with the segment crew who had set up their toys, were waiting for the reporter and at that very moment being harassed by random (scary) people looking to play let's make a deal to purchase the toys. I know I'm painting a wonderful picture of NYC aren't I ? .. seriously its pretty. ....Just slightly scary at the same time.... sometimes... rarely... but you know- it happens.Anyway-, the camera crew arrived and they started filming the kids at play for the segment- which was all about Eco-friendly toys becoming more affordable.Baby Girl took right away to the eco-friendly seedling doll - and without prompt took her new dolly- and sat on a ledge, thumb in mouth hamming it up for the camera. My girl's a natural -no pun intended.Take note of the boy playing in the back
So while Princess was busy batting her eye lashes for the camera- The Complicated Boy was busy playing with A new Sprig Wood Frisbee with Mr.Complicated who left work for a bit to be the proud Dad of “super stars”.
And then it happened.
WHACK!
Daddy threw the Frisbee to the boy – who caught it right in his kisser. … Way-to-Go-Dad! (no seriously, he felt horrible.)
Did I mention I have zero tolerance for the sight of blood? … Yea, well the boy’s mouth was full of it. Not exactly the clip the camera was hoping to get.
He screamed, he cried.. I tried to picture a beach, a martini and pretty much any other non-bloody scene I could (or I probably would have passed out).
We got him some ice and in minutes he was calm again.
What did he do when calmed down you ask? …. picked up that same frisbee for some more frisbee fun of course. This time- playing with the Meems who was extra careful to throw it very low-until some crazy disheveled nice possibly homeless man decided to get in on the game to give The Complicated Boy a tutorial in how to throw a Frisbee.
The whole time I’m whispering to Mr.Complicated “Who is that man talking to our son? Who is that STRANGER talking to OUR SON!!?” and then as if it happened in slow motion- The crazy disheveled nice possibly homeless man throws the Frisbee….. WHACK! right in The Complicated Boy’s mouth– AGAIN.
We all flock back over to help the boy -including the crazy disheveled nice possibly homeless man who was very apologetic- which we appreciated, but let me tell you about crazy disheveled nice possibly homeless men… they do not like to take a polite “thank you, please give us a minute” for an answer.
When we got the boy calmed down again- the reporter, invited the kids back over to play with the toys… and calm was restored to this complicated day.
Princess Complicated & I played with a stacking toy and counted “un, two, free” as the reporter and the Complicated Boy stood behind us playing with a wooden yo-yo and introducing the segment.
When they wrapped up, the kids got to take home their favorite toys from that day. Princess of course kept a good grip on that Seedling doll- while the boy? … Yea he took home that Whamo Frisbee… and then I overheard the reporter say as she packed up-
“Ok, this will probably be about 42 seconds of my story”.
You see why I need my own reality series?
So-of you live in the area, please be sure to tune in to Tonight’s Eyewitness News between 5pm & 6pm to see 15 seconds of me and my little starlets and .2 seconds of my experience playing “Complicated Stage Mama” for the day.
Oh and PS- As I type this… I wait for a car to head back to NYC- where I will for the first time in 5 years attempt to install a toddler car seat- SOLO…. stay tuned my friends, because even though I still will not have a camera man to film it- I am sure hilarity will ensue and I will have plenty of blog material to come.
