It’s bloggy slacking season here at Complicated Mama… but this time its with just cause.
Wednesday my world was turned upside down when I found out that my Grandmother (Nanny) had suffered a heart attack and needed to go in for a triple bypass.
Nanny is not just my Grandmother- she’s been a second Mother to me my whole life and practically raised me. The thought of losing her scares me beyond words- even though I feel like at almost 30 years old I should be well prepared for these kind of things. I’m not. Are we ever?
Not only is the situation scary… it is stressful.
And stress and Complicated Mama do not play well in the sandbox… in fact, sometimes- Dr. Zoloft has to come and intervene. True story.
This may just be one of those times.
Family crisis’ – as I’ve seen it can go one of two ways. It can bring a family together- or it can drive them further apart. My family, for reasons I am still unsure of – always seems to go with the latter. I suspect its narcissism at its best, but who am I to judge? … I have a blog… about myself.
Whatever the reason is for this misconstrued, blurred vision of what is important in life- It seems to run rampant in this family like a disease I fear is hereditary and pray every day to be able to escape it.
Though I often use this blog as my leather couch complete with Doctor asking a lot of “But how does that make you feel?”‘s….. this time I’m not going to get into the venom spewed words on the tip of my tongue. I’m finding my zen and focusing on the positives.
2 years ago I cared for my Grandmother after her first stroke. Like this situation, that was very scary and hard to see her go through as well… but the one thing I have learned from all of it – is how amazingly strong this woman’s spirit is. After her stroke, she was insistent on being independent. It took some time, and sure she was a little bit more wobbly than she was when she was 21 … but she worked her way up to being able to walk on her own every day to and from nearby stores.
3 generations on my wedding day
She amazed people.
Yesterday was day 3 post surgery for Nanny. And although we couldn’t have Mother’s Day dinner with her, it was her first day being fully awake post surgery and we were able to visit.
It was sometimes hard to understand her without her teeth (Which I know she is PISSED about, by the way!) but she was smiling, joking with us and telling us about how much she looked forward to having her wine and ice cream … and possibly wine flavored ice cream if we could find it.
Wine Flavored Ice Cream. … after heart surgery. God I love this woman. :)
It was her witty statements that only reassured me her very strong spirit is still there. That remarkable spirit- unlike the the drama, is something I can only pray to be so lucky to inherit.
And though, Mr. Complicated and the kids spoil me yesterday with some great presents (and sleeping in) which I am beyond thankful for …It was seeing my Grandmother’s strength shining through that truly was the best Mother’s Day present- though those very necessary skinny girl margarita‘s I had to calm my nerves before I went up there did come in a close second….
