Balance

January 25, 2012 by admin · 6 Comments

Since launching ComplicatedMama just 2 months after my daughter was born in 2008, I have had the fortunate opportunity to merge my love for blogging and networking with my professional experience, creating my consulting business, Complicated Media. Its an opportunity that both my family and I are grateful for every day, because it allows for flexibility I could not have had working anywhere else. The husband and I don’t have to toss a coin to see who’s calling out when the kids have sick days (of which we have had many lately!) and every day at any given time I can stop work and step into their playroom to witness their hilarious imagination.

Crazy to think that just 10 years ago, Moms only wished they could land a job working from home and today Mom’s are creating their own opportunities– isn’t it?

Yes, it’s true that running your own business has a constant learning curve and working from home is not always quite as cushy as it sounds. But as I juggle playdates with conference calls and dinner planning (and yes, sometimes breakfast for dinner- *is* a “plan”) I am reminded that although we still don’t have that mythical balance thing figured out- we sure are redefining it. And *that* is empowering to not only Moms but to the children who get to “go to work” with their parents and be part of it every day.

From graphic designers to authors, marketers to photographers and everything in between- today Moms are able to set up offices in our homes with our families.

And so today I’m beyond excited to share with you a new project I am working with the talented Heather Reinhard of ThetaMom who like myself has also launched her business Theta Mom Media through social media.

If I had a voice right now I’d Squeee with excitement.

Launching Mom is a revolutionary concept that is supportive of Digital Moms and women in business who are dedicated to :

Following their passion
Venturing into newfound careers
Launching their own start-up companies
Seeking to ignite enthusiasm back into an already existing business or concept
Generating new ideas for entrepreneurial endeavors

Online the community site will have forums, resources and some fun featured content for Mom-trepenuers.

Offline we will be holding in-person Business Socials that will not only provide networking opportunities but tools for Digital Moms looking to take their business to the next level.

We are thrilled to announce that Rutgers University will sponsoring our very first Business Social Event, which will be held at their campus on June 8th 2012.

More details on the Launching Mom mission, community and event can be found on the official website.

Whether you are a Digital Mom in business or considering starting up a business, I hope you will take the chance to check it out … and connect with us on Twitter and Facebook too! ;)

Filed Under: The Balancing Act · Tagged With: Balance, business, launching mom, momtrepenuer

January 4, 2012 by admin · 9 Comments

You are looking at my new mantra for 2012. I am going to frame it. Hang it up on the fridge… and every time I read it, respond ”and it’s ok” like a congregation replies “Amen”.

Even with all of its many blessings, 2011 left me feeling I was doing it all, and yet doing nothing well. Despite how much I believe there is no such thing as balance or perfection, I once again found myself trying too hard to achieve it and fell into the role of trying to be everything to everybody.

The kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my work– homework and activities, dishes and laundry {barf}, emails and conference calls, all while being sure to attend every birthday party we’re invited to and scurrying 40 minutes before the hubby walks in the door to make the house appear neat and cook dinner – because obviously, if the house is a mess, they don’t have underwear in the morning and/or dinner is not on the table that means I did NOTHING all day – right?

Last month we ordered pizza more times than I would like to admit and every time the delivery boy showed up I’d mentally announce (ok, sometimes out loud)“MOM FAIL!” The truth? I was failing but it had nothing to do with pizza or motherhood. I was failing– myself. Because the really sick part about it? If my husband walked into a house with a sink full of dishes and peanut butter and jelly on the table for dinner, he wouldn’t even blink. He doesn’t put these unrealistic expectations on me, I do.

And I do it with friends too. Over the holiday I had the chance to get together with a group of girls I’ve been friends with for years. In conversation, I confessed how badly I felt about friends I knew I’d disappointed by letting them fall to the way-side now and again and almost unanimously they replied “But that is life. Things change. True friends get that.” And you know what? They’re right. It’s Dr. Suess 101 ”Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” This was just more unnecessary guilt I had laid on myself.

I know I am not the only one who does this to themselves. Women are notorious for this “Super woman” syndrome. We almost thrive on hearing comments of ”But how does she do it?” … because if we hear those words- it’s almost like some sort of validation saying that we look like we have that balance thing under control- even if internally we are falling apart at the seams. It’s an unfulfilling reality, ladies- don’t do it. A vicious, ugly cycle that is never going to make us happy.

It’s ok to have a things left to do. It’s ok to put your self first and politely decline so that you can take a breath of air. There’s a reason airlines’s tell parents to put their oxegyn masks on first.

In 2012, lets vow to truly embrace those flaws, put ourselves first and only surround ourselves with positive people who accept us for all of our shortcomings- no matter how obscure they may be. Because at the end of the day if we can honestly say we are acting with the best of intentions, that is all that matters.

Trust me– just the thought of letting go of the guilt will make you feel 10 lbs lighter. It may not get you into your skinny jeans, but its one of the best New Year’s diets I’ve found.

Filed Under: CONFESSIONS OF A RELUCTANT HOUSEWIFE, Parenting Life · Tagged With: Balance, mantra, New Year

August 19, 2010 by admin · 26 Comments

You know that Meredith Brooks song “I’m A Bitch” ?

I’m hereby declaring it to be the Complicated Mama theme song- and not because of the title, but because of the lyrics and the message.

Yesterday, I wrote 2 posts about my fears and anxieties about my son going into Kindergarten. All – very- real- genuine- emotions.

Today, I experienced more fears and anxieties as I nearly had a melt down when I received a paper in the mail that my son was chosen for the afternoon session. Beyond the fact that smack in the middle of the day sounded like a 1 year jail sentence to me, seeing those short 2 1/2 hours written on paper in front of my face made me realize, what I knew all along- for us, 2 1/2 hours is not going to work. He needs to be in full time.

Every time I talk about it, it sounds contradictory to the emotions I was just feeling yesterday, but its not. I still am very nervous about putting my 5 yr old into “big boy school”- but I also know in my heart that he is ready for it… and so am I, no matter how nervous I am.

I can say this confidently because for the past 5 years it’s been a big mess of conflicting emotions and I have felt like the Mommy version of Goldie Locks – looking for what is “juuustt right” for my family, and trying to rediscover myself in this always evolving and changing role as a mother- (Funny how “What to expect when expecting” left out the chapter of postpartum rediscovery)

I worked in corporate America full-time, 12 hour days, to find myself feeling disconnected from my child and my once eager sitters dropping like flies.

I switched my schedule to work part-time from home to find myself taking calls in the shower stall hoping my colleagues wouldn’t hear my son singing Doodle Bops at the top of his lungs in the next room.

Interviewed daycare centers til my husband and I were blue in the face, all to find ourselves playing rocks, paper, scissors to decide who was going to call out every time he ended up sick from the ~~germ infirmary~~ school we so carefully selected.

And then 3 long virus’ and 5 fevers later, I heard the statement that would change my life completely….

“When I was home with my kids, those were the happiest years of my life”
I remember hearing this and thinking- Happy… that’s what I want! This must be what I am missing! What I didn’t realize is that Motherhood is not one size fits all. So while being home with my kids and being able to take them to the park on a sunny afternoon is wonderful, the day to day is tough, and constant, and I’m not sure I personally would classify it as “the happiest”.

With Kindergarten now on our horizon, my days are filled with my sons repeated requests to teach him how to spell new words or help him read books… As I type this he is sitting in the living room trying to do math equations with his Toy Story toys- for real. “If you take away buzz and Jessie… there is just Woody… That is one”. Its adorable, and amazing… and constant. He is ready.

So, finally, this Goldie Locks is realizing what is best for her family, is what is best for herself. For now, this means Complicated Mama gets a break to grow some of her other passions beyond being a mother, and The Complicated Boy gets to go to grow his passion for learning and socialize with other kids – for more than 2 1/2 hours.… and that is “Juussst Right”.

Filed Under: CONFESSIONS OF A RELUCTANT HOUSEWIFE, Parenting Life · Tagged With: Balance, full day, half day, kindergarten

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