Today was a milestone for both me and The Complicated Boy…
1st ever Parent/Teacher conferences.
Though I am a seasoned Mom when it comes to midnight feedings, changing diapers in public without Koala stations and even potty training… The whole school thing? I’m still a rookie.
Since the boy can be challenging for me, I have to admit I was a little concerned- though he’s typically quite the sweetheart for anyone not blood related.
My bigger concern? walking out and feeling more Mommy guilt.
I had these fears of going into this room, sitting in the little pre-k chairs- with my knees level to my neck and Sweet Mrs. Pre-K warping into Nanny Jo on my ass.
Mrs. Pre-K: “Complicated Mama, your son talks an awful lot about superheros, how much TV does he typically watch a day?”
(umm, 3?.. uh.. I mean 2 … minutes– yes, yes! 2 minutes strictly!)
MPK: “The other day when coloring, CB started singing “My Life Would SUCK Without You” Where would he get such language from Complicated Mama?”
(Uh.. Kelly Clarkson? .. NO!…((nervous laugh)) just kidding– I’d never let him listen to the radio..(tee-hee) strictly Kidz Bop in my house! … Um.. his Grandmother? Yes- he got it from Nana… which is my mother –IN-LAW by the way. My mother would never… uh- yea Ill talk to her… and him! Ill talk to the boy, I mean.)
…these scenarios played through my head the whole day, and it made me stressed. The kids chasing each other around my center hall stair case for an hour didn’t help either.
So later that day when school let out, I went in and hung out in the classroom with my son for a few(seconds) before it was “my time”.
DS: “Look what I made! “
Me— inner dialogue :
(SHIT! … did he brush his teeth today?)
I always set up this tooth brush for him in the bathroom when he wakes up.
CB: We watched a movie in the gym … and look:
Teacher said if we don’t brush our teef… we will get holes like this. You see?… They’re called cavities”
Me– inner monologue: ((Oh, God! .. he didn’t. …Shit. shit. shit.))
CB: Do you want me to have holes in my teef Mommy?
Me: No silly! That’s why we always brush & floss when you wake up and before you go to bed! ((nervous laugh, looking around))
CB: But we forgot today.
((BUSTED))
Me: Crazy kid! you just don’t remember!
CB: No. We didn’t.
Me: (nervously inquiring) did Mrs.Pre-K ask everyone if they brush their teeth every day?
CB: yea.
Me: What did you say?
CB: (smiling) I said not today.
Ok, this is worse than my Nanny Jo scenarios. Now, I’m going to be lectured about pre-school oral hygiene cause of course the ONE day I forget to check his toothbrush- is dental day!
“Complicated Mama? You can come in now”
I felt sick to my stomach. I felt guilty. I wanted to blurt out — “he’s been going to the dentist every 6 mo. since he’s 2!” but I didnt.
Mrs. Pre-K went on to show me projects he did, talked about the progress he’s made and how he is a “character” and entertains them all the time (yes, thats my kid- such an imagination… sometimes– he even pretends he doesn’t brush his teeth isnt that funny??)
“do you have any questions for me Mrs. Complicated?”
…. What? That’s it? no dental video? No reform school recommendations?… No application for Super Nanny?
“Ok, then we’ll see you Friday”.
Wow! My kid isn’t so bad after all…and I really dodged a bullet with that dental stuff huh?
I walk out confidently, feeling at peace with my slip up because his progress in school made me feel closer to raising a future well rounded adult.
… We get in the car and I say:
“Good job CB! Mrs. Pre-K said you’re a very good & smartboy… and don’t worry about holes in your teeth- we’re going to brush as soon as we get home….. but you know, we really do ALWAYS brush your teeth-”
“yea. I was just kidding” (he begins to laugh)
“What?”
(laughing like a hyena) “I brushed my teef when you was changing Princess, don’t you remember ??”
— and then it clicked. Yes, .. yes I do.
((sigh))
Are we SURE he doesn’t need reform school? Cause I’m pretty sure he’s out to give me a stroke by age 30.
