I’m here to report to you today that Spring is just around the corner.
No, I am not a meteorologist- nor am I married to one, or even know any- But I’m telling you — its on its way… and will be here before you know it.
I know because, you know that one thing we all dread about the warm weather– yea, well I did it.
I tried on my very first bathing suit of the season.
.
It’s never pretty is it? …Trying on shorts for the first time isn’t a joy ride either.
.
We spend all winter covered up in cozy layers and then its time for some warm weather and suddenly it’s HOLY THIGHS!… where did they come from??? Every year same thighs, every year- same shock.
.
.
This year, in a “Im young, I can be a MILF dammit” moment I thought I’d be braver and try on one of those ‘sexier’ one pieces that have a deepcut that ‘reveals’ a little of your stomach. Similar to this one:
Yea– I know, who was I kidding?
It was by trying on this bathing suit that made me not only thigh conscious but shiver at the sight of what use to be a “sexy Belly Button”… at least I’m pretty sure that’s what that stretched out -wrinkly area in the middle of my stomach is… ?
So I instantly wrote a quick note to the 18 year old me… and it wents a little something like this:
Dear Miss- Im 18 and know it all,
Yes, piercing your bellybutton is so super cool and rebellious now, and yes you will have a great time hiding it from your ‘super uncool and horribly mean Mother” …
but in less than 10 years from now–and I know that sounds so far away– but its so not… you will have had stretched out that area by bearing a child twice…
and though God will spare you on stretch marks, he will not be as kind on your belly button- in turn, leaving that mean old mother of yours (who by the way is your saving grace on so many occaisions after you have those kids) left having the last laugh. And even though at 29 you will be over your rebelling against Mom thing– this is still not an ideal situation.
So do me/you a favor and stick to what you know- being the good girl- cause lets be honest– you aren’t rockin’ Britany abs now anyway… the good news? in 10 years- neither will Britany ;)
– xo The streched out-pushing the big 3-0- you of 2010
