This weekend, Mr.Complicated had a night out with the boys and I got to enjoy a quiet night all to myself. The Kids were bathed and in bed, house was organized, I poured a glass of wine and downloaded some show tunes that I hadn’t listened to in AGES (I was a Gleek before it was even trendy)– and ended up taking a trip down memory lane that in retrospect was kind of hysterical.
You see, before the controversial 7 year old “Single Ladies” recital video hit YouTube -Before YouTube even- circa- 1996 if you will… My high school was stirring a bit of a controversy of their own- with their spring musical performance of “A Chorus Line” .
Til’ this day I am not sure who slept with who to get the ok on a musical with a song titled “Tits & Ass ” performed by teenagers infront of nuns and priests… but it happened….(O yea- it was a catholic high school, did I forget to mention that?… minor detail.) And even with her inability to hold a note in a paper bag, your very own Complicated Mama scored herself a place on “the line”, as Judy Turner (who’s part was cut from the movie version, but again… minor detail.)
Sure- in an effort to make the show more audience and age “appropriate” they changed all the obscenities to more acceptable terms… “Shoot Richie!” in lieu of “SHIT! Richie!”, “This & That” in place of the famous “Tits and Ass” ……but beyond the language, the monologues in the show dealt with some heavy adolescent issues and left almost everyone casted in the production with at least one “embarrassing” line to deliver- mine?
… “and I remember practicing kissing with my best girl friend Leslie… Have any of you ever practiced kissing with another girl?”….
Yes, I delivered that line in front of not just members of the clergy, but My teachers, My Mother, My Grandmother, My Friends, My Boyfriend, My Out-of-the-closet-ex-boyfriend …Come to think about it…. that last one probably didn’t even notice… However,
I . WAS. MORTIFIED.
Not to mention the embarassment of having to wear only a purple belted leotard on stage for 2 hours (“I was SO fat”) Nonetheless, I delivered the line night after night… in my leotard and character shoes for 2 wks… and as my best friend’s husband loves to point out to me til’ this day,….on the day of recording– lets just say the stage was COLD.
MORTIFIED.
Though that was nothing compared to my male cast-mate who had to sing about being “the opposite of soft”…. and well,…. was…. in spandex dancer pants… on recording night. Yea, Try living that down through out Junior and Senior year… its no wonder I can’t seem to find him on Facebook today.
Yes, on recording night- anything that could embarrass did, and the rebellious teens we {though we} were- made a pact that night to sing the obscene (true) lyrics from the top of our lungs… o yea, “we bad’… I mean how cool would it be to show our kids in years to come?… Right?…. {{insert crickets chirping}}
… Can you imagine if YouTube was around back then?
As I remember it, rehearsals kicked our ass (well at least mine) I became physically sick, literally the second he curtain fell on closing night.
And surprisingly, none of us ever did go on to perform on a Broadway Stage .. though one cast member did audition for American Idol, and lets just say the video clip was less than favorable lol (ah! for some the moments just keep on coming.)
Still, all the long practices & mortifying moments … left some great memories that flood my mind when I listen to the “Hello Twelve!, Hello Thirteen” monologues & leave me cracking me up every time.
Who knew back then that my first line of “ooh! I forgot my number” was so telling to who I’d become as an adult who suffers from Extreme Mommy Brain, and watching Judy’s solo performance on Broadway- it kinda makes perfect sense that THIS was the character Complicated Mama protrayed-
Judy Turner- The flakey Complicated -Steve McQueen Luvin-Dancer from Ellll Paso….
Whose girl kissing line you can see at 2:16 in the clip below (again not my cast, I was SO much better than this broadway chick.)….
“Anyway… I do remember.”
