You know what I love about The View? .. how they can make me suddenly have strong opinions on something I hadn’t really thought I had before. It gets me all sorts of angry when I cant interject MY opinions in their conversation–and then it reminds me Sherri still hasn’t called … (sigh)…but its ok- I have this cozy place filled with friends that embrace my ranting.
Seguing from yesterday’s Octomom show, Thursday was all about Infertility
My friend Jenn is going through some infertility issues, and between the 2 of us chatting about today’s episode I realize we could kind totally have our own “View Show” (Any producers out there looking to fund that- Have your people call our people)
For me, today- Guliana Rancic — and that PETRIFIED look on her face when asked if she put on the 5 lbs the Dr. recommended– set me over the edge. What was that? — Memo to Guiliana: Gaining weight is the name of the game when it comes to pregnancy— if you can’t handle the numbers on the scale going up- perhaps you should rethink your plan. I gained 50lbs the 1st time and 40lbs the 2nd time. if I cried every 5 lbs.- my eyes would still be swollen.
My friend on the other hand felt bad for Guiliana being ridiculed too harshly- because one of the hardest parts of dealing with infertility is having to deal with the other issues that go with it (ie- healthy eating habits). Its a point, I suppose I never really thought about because I’m typically just bitter (out of jealousy) towards skinny girls. =P
It was obvious to me before we discussed the Guiliana thing that this was Jenn’s hot topic– and it was her time to sound off!
So, without further adieu, take it away Jenn…
Hello! My name is Jenn and I’m an infertile ((Hello Jenn!)).
Having said that, I knew I had to watch today’s View. I anxiously waited until the weather man, who was telling us it’s snowing (Thank you Captain Obvious!), was off the screen and was brought to the show right when they were finishing up the Octomom talk (thank god…can’t stomach that lady). Soon after the ladies started sharing their experiences with infertility and the second Sherri started talking I burst into tears. My emotions have been everywhere lately (thank you to my crazy hormones) and I just couldn’t help it.
I listened to Barbara talk about her miscarriages and Joy talk about her ectopic pregnancy and then we got to Elizabeth….sweet little Elizabeth (who I am normally a fan of) started talking about her Celiac disease and how she couldn’t get pregnant until it was under control. She then made a comment like “and we know what happens now. I need to eat the gluten to NOT get pregnant”….*SIGH* NOT really something someone who has been struggling to get pregnant wants to hear…what my overly sensitive infertile mind heard was “I can get pregnant at the drop of my hat now!” SHOWOFF!
The doctor – to be honest? bored me. I felt it was aimed more to people who are in the beginning of their struggles and not old pro’s like me! Although I must admit I did slightly start to hyperventilate when the age 30 was brought up and how the egg quantity and quality decreased after that…I’ll be 30 in four months (breathe in….breathe out).
As for Guiliana and Bill- I love, love love them & also LOVE when celebs are open about their struggles to conceive. It helps to realize that this really can affect anyone. The big difference is (and it’s HUGE) that celebs have the FUNDS to take whatever steps are needed to achieve pregnancy- us regular folk do not. My husband and I have absolutely NO COVERAGE towards IVF or fertility meds! None…zip…zero…zilch! The price of IVF is $12, 500 and the shots that they would like me to try with our IUI’s cost $2000 a month! We can’t financially do it …and I feel bad about it every day!
The part that struck a cord with me the most was when they were interviewing the “real life” people who are struggling. I thought …at best…it was slightly harsh, especially with the lady going through the divorce, who I felt resorted to the infertile mechanism of “snapping back”. It is so difficult to be a person who is struggling to get pregnant and “get advice” from strangers. To be told it is ok to “feel” someway or ok to think something. We have heard everything…We have tried everything. I was also surprised at Barbara’s brush off of the topic of adoption, stating that it didn’t have anything to do with infertility. It does! It does for so many families!
The one positive in our struggles is my relationship with my husband has grown immensely. I know what the struggles of infertility can do to a couple and I am grateful that our struggles brought us closer together. We still find a way to laugh about it, even after the hours of tantrums and crying fits at how unfair this is! This is something we will conquer together with the love and support of our family and friends (and the MANY, MANY wonderful gals on twitter who are going through the same thing). I know that the day I get to hold my baby with be the happiest day of my life. My wounded and broken heart will finally begin to heal.
I don’t allow infertility to define me but it is definitely a part of who I am. I’m not ashamed of it. I embrace it. The struggles have truly made me a better person (although sometimes slightly insane ….I blame the fertility drugs).
I am “Un”fertile and Fabulous…..it’s the only way to be!
Jenn Blogs at The Road to Happily Ever After where
she write about her journey from “Just Married” to
“Happily Ever After”. Stop by…say hello…stay for a
drink…although she says she is currently only
serving chocolate milk due to being in her two week wait.
