Before I go off on my rant about the woman who completely appalled me on the train… a lil shameless self promotion.
I got a bloggy make-over this past week- a little spring cleaning- and I feel fabulous! Its just as almost as rewarding as spring cleaning your home (which I know nothing about).
{{Back to the real meat and potatoes post here}}
Yesterday I had a meeting in the city with the folks at The Big Toy Book. We talked about fun new toys, we played with a fun new game… yes that’s right a business meeting with a Toy Company includes game playing (who’s got the “best job in the world” now, Mr. “I got to blog on an Island and got stung by a jelly fish“???) but most importantly, we worked hard developing a large to do list for some fun projects we’re working.
So when the our meeting had ended, I was looking forward to a nice quiet train ride home where I would get to decompress, maybe catch up on email and read over some notes–with nothing but the peace and quiet of my own mind. However, today was one of those days I had a chatty friend next to me. We will call her Ingrid. Ingrid was not only ready to share her life story with me, but grace me with her close minded opinions of the world today.
{Let me preface this with I am not one to typically get on a soap box about these issues being brought up but this woman got to me}
She began telling me how she was retired and working in the NY school system, but had gone back as a substitute. She was recently called back to sub for a kindergarten class and fell in love with one little girl, Ruby. They were doing a tap dancing class (?) and the little Ruby said to Ms. Ingrid “My Daddy and Papa” are going to come and see me dance.” Ingrid replied “Oh! Your father and grandfather.? That’s very sweet! What about your Mommy?” Ruby said “No not my grandfather. I don’t have a Mommy” and twirled away. Ingrid assumed the child lost her mother and felt terrible.
Later that day, the girl once again mentioned “Papa and Daddy”. Ingrid asked the little girl, “Who is Papa? You said he is not your grandfather”… and little Ruby said (probably very matter of fact-ly), “He is my other Daddy. I have 2 Daddy’s. That is why I don’t have a Mommy”.
photocredit: JCPenny
Ingrid then went off on a tangent about how “AWFUL” this is. “Can you believe it??”, she asked me. ‘Yes, its becoming very common” I replied. Ingrid continued on “The child is a female. 2 homosexual men have no right raising a little girl. I mean, who will the child identify with?”, she huffed. And just when I thought she couldn’t be more offensive, she finished her rant by saying…. “And the child is black, her Dad’s are white! I mean really?!? Even raciailly, that child has no one to identify with!”
Let me reiterate the most disturbing part of this, This woman works in the NYC SCHOOL SYSTEM!
{Deep Breaths, Deep Breaths. She’s an older woman. She doesn’t know any better. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks…yadi, yadi.}
I could have argued my thoughts, but I chose just to give her a “WOW” look– and return to my iPhone– where I feverishly began tweeting about the encounter (as per usual).
Then as I watched Modern Family tonight, I wished that at that moment– I had this picture to show her.
photo credit: ABC.com
The sad part about my run-in is that Ingrid is not the only one out there with these views.
Is it “traditional”? Maybe not. But how can you pity a child who has 2 loving parents? Before this woman knew that little Ruby had 2 Dads she thought the child had lost a mother, when in fact she was actually blessed with 2 fathers. Would it honestly have been better if Ruby was a child who lost a mother at the age of 5? Would she be better off if she were being raised by one widowed father and not 2 gay men? The answer seems obvious to me, yet also seems to be lost on Ingrid.
Who will the child identify with? She will identify with the caring and nurturing traits that her fathers possess. She is not going to have a gender crisis because she has 2 Dads. Little Ruby is not isolated. Im sure has a Family tree just like the one above. I’m sure she as many female family-friends and female teachers. As for race identity, there are many bi-racial children out there today who show more ethnicity from one parent than the other. What does that matter? Should the child feel like they don’t fit in with a parent they do not look like? NO!
Children are taught these things. Normal and “not normal”. Right and wrong.
Hopefully, somewhere Ingrid caught Modern Family tonight and learned a something.
